Finding Hope
by myeverything02
Summary: Part I in the Lessons Learned Series. Lindsey recieves devistating news and Danny helps her get through the worst. COMPLETE!
1. Unxepected Heartbreak

A/N: I just started watching CSI: NY at the start of the second season and I love the chemistry between Danny and Lindsey. I've written about 7 CSI stories, but this is my first CSI: NY story. I think I've put more thought into this one story than all my others combined so I hope you like it.

* * *

**Chapter 1: Unexpected Heartbreak**

Lindsey opened the double doors to NYPD. At 7 am it was already loud with the hustle and bustle of detectives, investigators, victims and suspects. She had hoped to go to her desk and get some of the paperwork she had been putting off done, but Kelly, the receptionist, stopped her.

"Morning, Ms. Monroe." Kelly greeted enthusiastically.

"What do you have for me this morning, Kelly?" Lindsey replied with equal spark. She leaned her elbows on the counter. Kelly reached under her desk and pulled out a brown cardboard box with an army emblem on it.

"This was delivered for you this morning." Lindsey nodded her thanks and proceeded to the office she shared with Danny, box in tow. She knew who it was from but normally her brother's letters were sent straight to her apartment. Automatically she felt like something was wrong.

Grabbing the first sharp object she saw, Lindsey cut through the tape that was concealing whatever was in the box. She pulled out a white envelope addresses to her. It wasn't in her brother's handwriting but in his best friend Jason's. Once again she opened the tightly sealed envelope taking the letter out. She read it in a low whisper to herself.

_Dear Lindsey-_

_Hey Linds, it's me Jason. There's no easy way to say this so I just need to get it out there. Matt's gone. He was killed on the front line two days ago. Your parents got the formal letter while I took it upon myself to tell you. I really can't believe he's gone and I really wish I could have taken his place. Right now I can see the tears forming behind your eyes but you're trying to stay strong. You're going to be alright. _

_All the contents in this box belonged to Matt and he told me that if anything ever happened to him they were to be sent to you. You'll know what to do with them. Always remember that Matt loved you with all his heart. He was so proud of you when he learned you were moving to the big city and taking that important job. He bragged about it for days. Matt also went on and on about that Danny guy where you work. Without meeting him I think he like him. _

_Stay strong, but at the same time don't be afraid to cry. Just remember to keep him and all the memories we all had together in your heart. He'll be watching over you forever. I'm always here for you. You and Matt were like the siblings I never had. We'll get through this together. Keep in touch kid! I'll keep you in my prayers. _

_Love Always- _

_Jason_

Tears started to fall from Lindsey's eyes. She couldn't believe that this could happen. Jason, her brother's best friend, had informed her that Matt was gone. Lindsey picked up the box and took it with her when she headed to Mac's office. There was no way she could work today. Her body began to shake and she couldn't trust her judgment because her mind was clouded.

Mac looked up from his desk when he heard the faintest knocking as his door. In his doorway stood a grief stricken, on-the-edge Lindsey, who looked like she was about to fall apart at any minute. When he stood up, he walked over to her and put his hands on her shoulders.

"Lindsey, what's wrong?" Mac questioned gently, not trying to push her.

Lindsey, who was still grasping the box tightly, shook her head and answered, "I don't think I can talk about it right now and I need the day off." Her voice was on the edge and ready to crack.

"Sure, Linds." Mac agreed quickly. He didn't want to push it. If he had to pinpoint what was wrong he would have to say it had something to do with death. Lindsey mirrored him when he had just lost Claire and if he was right he wasn't going to push it.

Lindsey nodded and turned around to leave, but Mac stopped her. "Just remember one thing. When you're ready, we're all here if you want to talk." She had only been there about a year but she already felt like family to the team. They really cared about her.

"Thanks Mac." Lindsey gave him as weak smile and headed towards the exit.

On her way out, she passes a clearly awake Danny Messer. Like she didn't even see him she walked right past him without a second glance or wise comment. Her tears did not go unnoticed by Danny. He had never seen her cry before and it broke his hear.

Danny settled down at his much unorganized desk in the office they shared. He looked across to the empty desk. Montana's desk looked like it hadn't been touched. Out of the corner of his eyes he noticed an out of place envelope. Not trying to be nosy he reached over and picked it up. To Danny's surprise it had an Army logo on it. He only had to read two sentences to realize why Lindsey had bolted so quickly. Danny slipped the letter back into the envelope and rushed to Mac's office. If he knew Lindsey like her thought he did, she didn't leave work without getting permission, but he also knew that she probably didn't give their boss a full explanation.

* * *

A/N: I know this chapter was short, but it's just the beginning. The next two are much longer. Review please…I like to hear your comments, opinions and constructive criticism! 


	2. A Trip Down Memory Lane

A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed…I think I received more reviews for the first chapter than any other chapter I have written. Also great thanks to the person who pointed out that I was spelling Lindsay (I spelled it with an 'e') wrong. Here's the second chapter and I hope you like it.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything...sorry i didn't put it in the first chapter!

* * *

**Chapter 2: A Trip Down Memory Lane**

When Lindsay had gotten home she hadn't felt like doing anything. The news of losing her brother had torn her apart both on the outside and inside. She put her keys on the counter along with the box of Matt's belongings and headed for the shower. As she stood in the shower letting the hot water pour down on her, massaging her tense muscles, she let her tears fall. They disappeared down the drain while steam fogged the light blue tiles that surrounded her.

After finishing her shower she retreated to her bedroom, where she changed into a pair of shorts and a tank top. Gathering her old photo album, she cuddled up on the couch with a hot cup of coffee. The box sat there in front of her, but Lindsay didn't have the heart to open it. She knew that it held all of her and Matt's most treasured memories. Tears fell from her eyes once again and she cried herself to sleep.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Danny Messer sat in his midnight blue Ford F150 outside Lindsay's apartment at 7pm that night. In his hands he held the envelope her had found on her desk earlier that morning. He had taken it to Mac and they had discussed how to handle the situation. Mac had warned Danny not to upset Lindsay anymore than she already was, yet Danny was sitting outside her apartment. Lindsay was his friend and she was there for him with the Louie and Flack situation, now it was his turn to comfort her.

He turned off the ignition and slowly walked up the steps to her door. Danny knocked softly hoping not to disturb her if she was asleep. Lindsay awoke to the sound. At first she though it was apart of her dream but she knew it was reality calling when it came again. She pushed herself off the couch and made her way to the door. She was quite surprised to see Danny standing on the other side.

She sighed when she opened the door, "Danny, I'm not in the mood." The words left her mouth before she could filter them. She hadn't meant to sound so cold and hostile. The look on Danny's face was filled with sadness accompanied by understanding and that surprised her.

"I'm sorry, Danny. I didn't mean that the way it sounded. It's just that I am under a lot of stress right now." Lindsay calmly explained even though she felt the tears creeping back into her eyes. She had to keep hers cool because she refused to let herself cry in front of Danny.

Danny nodded, "That's actually why I'm here. I went to talk to Mac after you abruptly left this morning." Lindsay looked at his slightly confused. "I also found this on your desk." Danny held up the envelope so Lindsay could see what he was referring to. It dawned on him then that Lindsay had just realized that she had forgotten the letter. It broke his heart to see the tears forming behind her eyes and her bottom lip begin to quiver.

"I'm sorry about your brother, Montana." Danny saw a look of fear, anger and sadness wash over her face. He didn't know whether to run or the stay and comfort her. What he really wanted to do was wrap his arms around her and hold her while she cried.

"How could you? I thought we were at least friends. Why would you read it?" Lindsay screamed. Before Danny could respond in defense, Lindsay was pounding her fists on his chest. He did the first this that came to mind and wrapped his arms around her. Her punches soon turned to sobs as she melted into Danny's embrace.

"He's gone Danny. He's really gone." Lindsay's words were muffled by Danny's dark green tee.

Danny places a kiss to the top of her head, "You're gonna be alright." He continued to stroke her damp, brunette curls in a calming motion. To him it felt right to be comforting her as they stood on her door step on hot, New York, summer night. After a few moments he guided her into the house and sat them both on the couch.

By the time they were seated Lindsay had stopped crying and she gently pulled out of Danny's embrace. She self-consciously wiped at her tear-stained face. After a few minutes their eyes met but Lindsay turned away shyly.

"I'm sorry." It was all Lindsay could think to say. She didn't feel the least bit embarrassed; she actually felt comfortable. Danny made her feel safe.

Danny's hand made its way to her face and tucked a stray curl behind her ear. "You have nothing to be sorry for Montana." He gave her a reassuring smile and continued, "Think of it as my way of repaying you for all the times you saved me when it came to Louie and Don. I'm always here when you need me." Lindsay nodded her thanks.

Danny looked around the apartment. It was exactly how he had pictures it. Neutral colors filled the room along with some blues and greens. Accompanied by photos and other decorations it gave off that country/western feel.

"Tell me about your brother." The words just flowed out of Danny's mouth before he had the chance to stop them. Lindsay took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Danny's question hadn't come as a surprise to her; she just wasn't sure how to answer it. But somehow she found the strength to try. Gently she reached over to the coffee table that sat across from the couch and picked up the box.

"What's that?" Danny questioned gently. Lindsay glanced at the box and then at Danny's understanding and compassion filled eyes.

"Jason sent it to me. It's my brother's personal belongings that Matt requested be sent to me." Danny nodded, willing her to continue. "This and the letter were sent to the lab instead of my apartment because Jason didn't have my home address. I haven't had the will power to open it all day."

Danny interrupted her before she could continue. "You don't have to do anything you're not ready to do Montana." Lindsay gave him a grateful smile but shook her head.

"I want to do this Danny." He nodded as she slowly opened the box. Lindsay pulled out a photo and showed it to him. "This is a picture of my family." Lindsay explained. He examined the photo. Lindsay was surrounded by three other people in what seemed to be a cabin in the woods. "It was taken on our trip to the cabin the last time Matt was home."

Pointing out the two older people, "This is my mom Christine, Chris for short, and my dad Kyle. To the right of me is my sister, Becky Lynn. She's two years younger than me and is married to Brian Cashman's little brother, Brad." Lindsay smiled and looked at Danny. His jaw dropped about ten feet.

"Brian Cashman? Yankee GM, Brian Cashman?" Danny asked still in disbelief.

Lindsay nodded. "And if you're good I can get you, Don and Mac good tickets to see a game. Brian and I are the twins' godparents and we grew up together." The expression on Danny's face was that of a kid in a candy store.

"Montana, you've got yourself a deal. Now is that your brother?" Danny asked pointing to the young man standing behind Lindsay.

"That's my big brother, Matthew Ryan Monroe. Our birthdays were a month apart. His was June 13th and mine was July 17th." Her voice began to give way and Danny pulled her closer. Lindsay accepted his offer and rested her head on his chest. "Every year after he got his driver's license we would go up to the cabin for the weekend. It was our way of celebrating out birthdays and the last day of school."

It wasn't long after saying this did Lindsay break down crying once again. Danny just held her tight. "Now we're never going to get to do that again." She whispered just loud enough for Danny to hear. His only response was to pull her closer.

About two hours later, Danny knew almost everything there was to know about Matt mixed in with a few breakdowns. After he last one Danny was surprised to find that Lindsay had fallen asleep. She looked so peaceful and angelic with her head on his chest and her curls falling in her face.

Gently he extracted himself off the couch without letting her fall. Danny then carried her down the hall which he assumed would lead to her bedroom. Entering the second room on his left he laid her between the covers. Just when he pulled back, Lindsay touched his arm and murmured something.

"Don't go, Danny. I want you to stay. I don't feel like being alone." She whispered not bothering to open her eyes. Danny's only response was to press a light kiss to her forehead. A faint smile danced on Lindsay's lips. Danny climbed under the covers and wrapped his arms protectively around her waist and closed his own eyes.

While waiting for sleep to take over Danny let his thoughts drift back to the night's events. Danny wondered why everything, including lying there with Lindsay in his arms, felt so right. He knew the answer, he just wasn't sure he was ready to come face-to-face with that particular revelation.

* * *

A/N: So how did you like it…I promise there is much more to come. Review and let me know what you thought. 


	3. Hope in Unexpected Places

A/N: Reviews were great. Here's another update! I think this is a record for me—2 in one day!

* * *

**Chapter 3: Hope in Unexpected Places**

Her eyes fluttered open and were welcomed by the bright rays of the New York morning sun. Lindsay automatically detected the loss of warmth that had surrounded her the night before. She turned her body in hopes of finding Danny lying next to her. To her disappointment he wasn't there. Her heart sank as her mind reviewed the previous night's event. She hoped she hadn't scared him away by asking him to stay.

Lindsay lifted the covers and slid her feet out from beneath them so they hung over the side of the bed and were touching the soft rug. Her spirits were lifted when she found a note on her bedside table that was left by Danny. Lindsay picked it up and read it.

_Montana-_

_Sorry I had to leave early, but Mac called me in early. Don't even think about getting up. Mac said you're not allowed to come to work today. Yes, it's for your own good. I took the liberty of making you breakfast before I left. It's in the kitchen. I'll stop by after work and bring pizza. Don't hesitate to call any of us._

_By the way, your mom called. Call her back soon. She's worried about you._

_Danny_

Lindsay smiled at his thoughtfulness but cringed at the idea of him talking to her mom. She knew that probably hadn't gone well: a man answering her phone that early in the morning had to equal an interrogation. Her stomach grumbled, reminding her she hadn't eaten anything last night before Danny had arrived, so she headed down the hall to the kitchen. Danny had made her French toast. Who would have thought Danny Messer could cook?

She reached for her phone. Danny didn't pick up his phone as she had suspected he wouldn't, so she left his a voicemail telling him that pizza would be fine. After hanging up the phone she starred at it, trying her hardest to post-pone the call she was dreading making. Lindsay knew she had to call her mom, but she also knew her mom would want her to come home for a couple days and Lindsay wasn't so sure she could handle it. Slowly she punched in the numbers and cradled the phone against her face. The two rings echoed in her ear until her mom picked up.

"Monroe residence." Chris answered.

Lindsay took a deep breath and slowly let it out. "Hey mom." She then braced herself for what was to come.

"Lindsay, baby, how are you holding up?" Her mom asked sounding very concerned, as a mother should be.

Lindsay sighed, "I'm doing fine Mom. I think I cried enough last night to last me a lifetime. Poor Danny." Despite everything that was going on the mother and daughter shared a laugh.

"I know. He told me you were a little shaken up." Chris confessed. Lindsay was shocked to say the least. Danny hadn't mention having an actual conversation with her mom.

"Exactly how much did Danny tell you?" She questioned her mom. Lindsay could imagine her mom's frown even though they were miles apart and she couldn't see her.

"Enough to know he cares about you honey; a lot actually." Chris paused. "I think you should take a vacation and come home for the funeral. It's next Saturday." She suggested.

It was the first time her mom had actually referred to her brother during their conversation. Lindsay sighed. She knew it was coming eventually. "I'll think about it." She needed to get out of the conversation because Lindsay knew that it went any deeper than that she would breakdown and cry. "Mac gave me the day off and I need to get some stuff done before Danny comes over. I'll call you later." She hoped her mom wouldn't push things any farther.

To her luck her mom didn't. "In that case I'll let you go. But you should give Becky Lynn a call. Brad boarded a plane back from New York this morning but for the time being it's just her and the twins."

Lindsay nodded absentmindedly. "I will. Tell daddy I love him."

"I will. Love you honey." Chris said in agreement. Lindsay replied much the same and hung up the phone.

Lindsay finished eating the delicious breakfast Danny had made for her and changed into some comfortable clothing. The New York summer was hot and sunny to say the least when it wasn't raining. She cleaned her apartment and lost herself in her chores. At around 5pm she sat down on the couch and called her sister. It had always been easy for the two to confide in each other. Yes, she had been closer to Matt but Becky was a girl. Lindsay had been maid-of-honor in Becky and Brad wedding. To add to the bond, Lindsay was Josh and Jaime's godmother.

An hour and a half later the two were still on the phone talking. There was a knock on Lindsay's door, to whom she guessed to be Danny. She pulled the phone away from her mouth and covered it. "One second." Lindsay yelled and the knocking stopped.

"That's Danny," She began to talk to Becky once again, "…oh shut up…I'll think about it…give my love to the kids and Brad…you too." Lindsay hung up the phone and walked over to the door. Not to her surprise behind the door stood a tired but smiling Danny. He held a box of pizza from the shop they liked to go to with Flack after work.

"Do you plan on letting a poor guy in or standing there making googlie eyes at me all night?" Danny teased gently. Lindsay smacked him playfully and stepped aside to let him in.

"You can put the pizza on the coffee table and make yourself at home." She directed when she headed to the kitchen to grab some plates and some soda. Danny took her offer and plopped himself down on the couch in her living room. Lindsay came over and sat down next to him on the couch. They settled in with the pizza and discussed the day.

"Thanks for breakfast, Danny." She smiled and took a bite of her pizza. "Who knew the Great Danny Messer could cook?" The response she got was a pillow in her face.

"Thanks Montana." He said playfully. "Did you call your mom?" He asked concerned.

"Yeah." Lindsay sighed.

Danny could read her face easily and could tell that something was wrong. "Linds, what's the matter?" His voice was covered in worry and he only used her real name when it was important.

"My mom wants me to come next week for my brother's funeral." Lindsay stated simply, diverting her eyes to anything other that Danny's.

"Then why does it look like you want to cry." He asked confused. He would have thought that she would want to go home and be surrounded by her family.

"I'm not sure if I'm ready to go home by myself." Lindsay admitted. Tears started to roll down her cheeks. Danny's hand instantly reached out and wiped them away as they fell.

"Hey, hey. Don't cry, honey." He pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her.

"What am I supposed to do, Danny?" Her voice was muffled by his shirt.

Danny continued to stoke her hair soothingly as he spoke, "What if I told you I'd go with you?" He offered. Danny really wanted to spend time with her and at the same time he wanted to be there to hold her when she needed it.

Lindsay pulled was and looked at him in disbelief. "I'd love that Danny but there is no way Mac is going to give us both the week off."

Danny smiled. "You handle the tickets and stuff like that and let me handle Mac."

"You're serious, aren't you?" It was a statement rather than a question but Danny nodded anyway. Danny was taken by surprise when Lindsay kissed him. As much as he wanted it he knew it wasn't right; at least not right now.

He pulled way and placed his hands on either side of her face as her looked into her emotion filled eyes. His heart melted. "As much as I want this, you are in a fragile state right now and I will not take advantage of that. It's just not my nature." Danny explained as her leaned his forehead against hers.

"You're not. I wanted to do that, actually for awhile now. No one has ever offered to do something like that for me." Lindsay explained. With that she leaned in and kissed him again and this time he accepted her invitation.

"I'll go anywhere for you if I get rewarded with kisses like that." Danny paused to catch his breath. "Plus, I need to finish the conversation I started with your mom this morning."

Lindsay smacked him playfully. She thought for a moment before saying something, "How is it that you can always make me smile?" She asked.

Danny laughed, "Montana, it's the Messer charm." Lindsay laughed and shut him up with another kiss.

* * *

A/N: It might be awhile before I get chapter 4 up because I have a softball tournament this weekend. Let me know what ya think! 


	4. Going Home

A/N: Hey guys thanks for the reviews! I loved them all. For all of you who asked, the tournament went well; my team finish in 5th place after a 4-3 loss to the number 1 seed. Here is my 4th of July present to all my readers…sorry I kept you waiting.

* * *

**Chapter 4: Going Home**

"Danny, tell me again how you got Mac to give us both the week off?" Lindsay questioned for the second time in the past two hours, which was the equivalent of the plane ride from New York to Montana. The man standing beside her laughed at her curiosity and persistence. They were two of the many things about her he had fallen in love with.

"For the eighteenth millionth time, we'll just say Mac loves me." He answered simply. Mac had done it out of generosity and that fact that he knew how Lindsay was feeling. Most of all Mac thought it was best that Lindsay not be alone in the emotional state she was in.

"Just let it go, Montana." Danny leaned over and kissed her as they walked off the ramp and entered the airport in Montana.

Lindsay stood on her tipsy toes in search of her parents. She waved when she caught sight of them. "Come on, time to meet my folks." Lindsay laughed and pulled Danny along with her.

"Oh, so now you're gonna go all western on me." Danny laughed along with her.

When they got close enough to her parents, Lindsay let go of Danny's hand and towards the man Danny assumed to be her father. "Daddy!" Lindsay cried as she ran into her dad's open arms.

Her father embraced her tightly. "My baby girl's back." He spun her around finally putting her down. Lindsay exchanged another love filled greeting with her mom before turning her attention back to Danny.

Lindsay grabbed Danny's hand and pulled him towards the group. "Mom, Dad, this is my boyfriend and co-worker Danny Messer."

Danny extended his had to Lindsay's dad, "Nice to meet you Mr. Monroe." He dad accepted Danny's hand but shook his head.

"Nice to meet you, Danny, but please call me Kyle. Mr. Monroe is my father." Danny nodded in understanding and laughed.

"That is exactly what Chris said to me on the phone." Danny turned to Chris, "Nice to talk to you again."

Chris pulled Danny into a hug which Danny gladly returned even though he was a little surprised. But then again he was Italian so it wasn't quite a shock. "You too, Danny. And thank you again for talking her into coming home."

"We'll have time for catch up later." Kyle interrupted the conversation that was about to begin. "These two are probably exhausted."

Danny and Lindsay nodded in agreement. The four people headed to baggage claim and headed to the Monroe family ranch.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"You two can stay in the guest house." Chris informed the couple when they finished unloading their bags from the SUV. "Becky Lynn, Brad and the twin will be here for dinner." She added.

Kyle spoke up after his wife had finished, "I hope you like barbeque. We're going to have a picnic of sorts. In a way to remember Matthew." Lindsay and Danny nodded and Lindsay guided then to the guest house. They settled themselves in and by the time they were finished they had an hour until they had to be at dinner.

"Come 'ere." Danny motioned for Lindsay to join him on the bed. She did so and settled herself in Danny's arms. There in his arms she let the tears fall, while Danny whispered comforting words in her ear and stroked her hair. In his arms was the only place Lindsay felt safe to show her emotions; it was the only place she really felt protected anymore. After a short while they both fell asleep.

Forty-five minutes later, Danny shook Lindsay's shoulder lightly in hope of waking her up. He hated to do it because she looked so peaceful for once lying there asleep, but he didn't want to be late for dinner.

"Mmmhmm." She mumbled softly and her eyes flickered open. Her gaze focused in on Danny and his heart-warming smile.

"Come on, sweetheart." Danny coaxed, "You've gotta get up. We've got a total of fifteen minutes to change and meet up with you family at the house for dinner."

Lindsay groaned when she let Danny reluctantly pull her out of bed. She was really dreading facing her whole family, but she knew that Danny would be right by her side the whole time to catch her if her fell.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Aunt Lindsay!" Two little voices filled the air and two kids rushed up to Lindsay, nearly knocking her down.

Lindsay smiled. "Hey Josh and Jaime." She greeted them and started to tickle the two toddlers and the three soon fell to the ground.

"You must be Danny." A young blond woman walked up next to Danny and stood beside him. "I'm Becky Lynn, Lindsay's little sister."

Danny smiled warmly in return. "Yup, I'm Danny Messer. And I'm guessing these little guys belong to you." He gestured to the kids that were now in a wrestling match with Lindsay.

Now it was Becky's turn to smile. "Those are the twins, Josh and Jaime. They'll be five in October."

Lindsay looked up from her current position from the grass below and was glad to find Danny and her sister talking. "Hey Becky." Lindsay said when she got up. "I guess you've met Danny."

"I approve." Becky whispered in her older sister's ear. "You want to come n and help mom and me with the food?" She asked a little louder. Lindsay nodded and gave Danny a kiss before following her sister, who was walking toward the house.

Danny's attention was pulled away from Lindsay when he felt a tugging on his pant leg. He looked down to find a small child who was the spitting image of Becky Lynn. Danny automatically assumed that it was Jaime.

"Who are you?" The little girl asked with a smile. Within seconds she was joined by her brother.

Danny wasn't sure how to answer the question. "I'm a friend of your Aunt Lindsay." The answer seemed simple and appropriate not to mention it was the truth.

Jaime turned to her brother after looking Danny over and whispered in his ear. All of a sudden the two started running around yelling, 'Aunt Lindsay has a boyfriend', in unison. Danny started to laugh. These are some pretty smart four year olds.

"I think they like you." A man's voice came from behind Danny and places a hand on his shoulder. Danny turned and was met by a man maybe a year or two younger than him.

"I'm Brad Cashman, Becky's husband and Lindsay's brother-in-law." He introduced himself offering Danny a hand. "You're Danny I presume?" Danny nodded in amazement as her shook Brad's hand.

Brad laughed at the look on Danny's face. "News travels fast in this family. You'll get used to it."

Danny nodded, "I guess I'll have to." He gestured to the twins who were still running around chanting their new found knowledge. "Are they always this perceptive?" Danny asked.

"Don't worry." Brad chuckled. "They did the same thing to my brother Brian's daughter's boyfriend. I think they like you."

Within a few moments the two men were joined by Kyle. The conversation quickly turned to sports. Although he was not a born New Yorker, Danny learned that Kyle Monroe was a very avid Yankee fan. That was not the only thing about Lindsay's family Danny learned throughout dinner. He got to hear lots of stories about Lindsay's childhood, including that the Cashman's had lived next to the Monroe's forever and the kids grew up together.

Many times that night the conversation turned to Matt and they shared stories. Danny, during these times, would steal glances at Lindsay, who in-turn had a death grip on his hand underneath the picnic table. He knew she was hurting inside but she was trying to keep a brave face. Lindsay had done the same thing with him until he got her to break down her barriers, now she was doing the same this with her family. She didn't want them to see the pain she was going through.

"So Danny, what is it like to work with my crazy sister?" Becky Lynn's question brought Danny out of his thoughts. Before answering, Danny looked over to Lindsay who seemed to be relieved that the topic had been changes. He even thought her saw a small smile play on her lips.

Danny gave her hand a reassuring, gentle squeeze, "Well…"

* * *

A/N: I know the end wasn't the best but I'll make it up to you inlater chapters!Hope you all have a great holiday! Review please if you have time. Until next time…Ash 


	5. Come to Terms with Reality

A/N: I am going to warn you ahead of time. This chapter starts off sad but there is a good reason for the sadness. It will get better as the chapter goes on I promise.

* * *

**Chapter 5: Coming to Terms with Reality**

'_Matthew Ryan Monroe'_

_1972-2006_

_Honorable Soldier, Beloved Son,_

_Brother and Friend_

Friends and family stood around Matt's grave three days after Danny and Lindsay had arrived in Montana. They stood in the summer heat as the pastor blessed the grave sight. The Monroes' stood in the front row with Danny on the far end. Lindsay was beside him holding his hand tightly while she shed silent tears. In the attempt to comfort her, even though he knew it wasn't possible to do such a thing, he stoked her hand in soothing circles with his thumb. Lindsay's other hand was being held by her sister who was crying on Brad's shoulder. The formal ceremony ended was marked by the firing off of military guns. A moment of silence was spent with the crowds' heads bowed. After a few minutes people began to file out of the cemetery and drive off.

Chris and Kyle made their way to their son's grave and said their final goodbyes as did Becky Lynn and Brad. Then it came Lindsay's turn to say goodbye to her brother. She let go of Danny's comforting hand and slowly made her was to the grave stone.

"I love you so much, we all do, and I'll never stop," Lindsay whispered into the wind and laid a single rose on the gray marble stone, "You'll live on in our hearts forever."

Tears began to fall down her cheeks when she ran back to Danny's comforting arms. He enveloped her in a protective embrace and she rested her head on his shoulder. They stood there in the cemetery as Lindsay shed her tears for what seemed like eternity. The rest on the Monroe familybore witness for the first time to Lindsay's pain.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When Danny finally got Lindsay back to the guest house, he laid her down on the bed and lay down beside her. Her shaking and sobbing had stopped in the car and her breathing had returned to normal. Danny watched her as she drifted off to sleep. It was only then was she at peace with life. Over the past couple days there had been times when Danny wondered if things would ever return to normal. Even the glimpsed of hope were clouded with pain. Just the other day he had questioned whether he had made the right choice in influencing her to come home. Danny just wanted the old Montana her knew back; the one that worked hard, laughed, flirted with him, went out for a beer after shirt with him and Flack, etc. It's not that he didn't love her the way she was now; it just broke his heart to see her in the continuous emotional state.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Lindsay awoke the next morning to find Danny's arms not around her. Her face was still sticky and tear-stained from the day before. She sat up, pushed the covers off of her and swiped her curls out of her face. Going to the dresser she pulled out a pair of jean shorts and a light blue tank-top with a Yankee logo on it. After she changed she headed out to the kitchen and grabbed some Aspirin. Her head was killing her and Lindsay suspected that it was from crying so much the night before. She swallowed the two pills down with a glass of water and picked up the note Danny had left her before he had left earlier that morning.

_Montana-_

_Hope you're feelin' better, sweetheart. I didn't mean to leave you alone this morning after yesterday's events but I was summoned for duty! Brad and Becky asked be to baby-sit the twins while they went out a couple hours. I was going to bring ya with me but I didn't want to wake you and I figured these kids love me so I'd be alright! Enjoy the peace and quiet. I'll be back before you know it._

_Danny_

_PS: Get some rest…don't have too much fun with out me!_

Lindsay smiles for the first time in days. Over the past four or five days, Lindsay and Danny had spent much of their time at her sister's. To her amazement Danny had grown quite close to Jaime and Josh; not to mention they had taken to him pretty quickly. Lindsay could picture Danny with kids. He would make a great dad.

Since she had the day to herself, it didn't take Lindsay long to decide what she was going to do to keep herself busy. Retracing her steps she headed back to the bedroom; her destination, the closet. Lindsay bent down and lifter out the box with Matt's belongings in it. Then she went back to the living room and made herself comfortable on the couch. She opened it up and dug around, through its contents. After a few moments she pulled out the specific thing she was looking for. It was a bent and tiered envelope that had her name on the front. Lindsay opened it and pulled out a hand written letter.

Before now the envelope had had a note on it that said Lindsay wasn't allowed to read it until after Matt's funeral. Although she was skeptical, Lindsay had obeyed her brother's wishes. Now, the day after his funeral, Lindsay read what was written:

_Dear Lindsay,_

_Hey Linds! By the time you read this I'll be gone. Sad as it is, you won't have anyone to make fun of you (but I think Danny can handle that!) or interrogate your boyfriends. I know you hate me right now for being funny, but you have to loosen up. Lindsay I might not be there physically, but I'll always be there in spirit. You're never going to get rid of me. I'm going to be there when you get married, when you have my niece or nephew, etc. _

_Promise me on thing though; don't spend your time crying, because you're not losing me. I need you to stay strong for mom, dad, Becky Lynn, Brad and the twins. Help me live on Linds, through you. Share our stories with Josh, Jaime and your kids someday, so they can remember me. I love you some much and I always will. I'll always be looking out for you. Spend you life with meaning and fun. Don't let my death be the cause of your lose of spirit and outlook on life._

_Love you always and forever, Sis,_

_Matt_

_PS: On one last note, I don't believe you're going to be single much longer. I have a finny feeling that you're going to trade the Monroe name in for Messer, but I'm okay with that (just as long as I get an invitation to the wedding)! I like him Linds, though I'm afraid you've met your match (and it's about-darn-well time)._

Once again, tears streamed down Lindsay's face as she finished reading her brother's letter, except these tears were tears of joy. She laughed at her the last sentence. It always had amazed her how Matt could make things enjoyable even in the worst of situations. Come to think of it, that was true of Danny too. Maybe that was why Matt seemed to like him. Matt's comments about Danny had been a way of reassuring her that he'd always be looking out for her even from Heaven. Although she hadn't expected Matt to mention Danny in his last letter to her, she wasn't that surprised at what Matt had said. In her recent letters, Lindsay had told Matt about the team and life in New York, but mostly she went on and on about Danny. She'd known he brother would approve and even though she hated to admit it, it was one of the reasons she was attracted to Danny. Nobody had ever been good enough for her in her brother's eyes, but just by description Danny had.

Though the letter Lindsay had finally come to terms with reality. She finally realized that her brother was right. Now she understood that she hadn't lost Matt. She had to make the best out of life and continue living it the way she had been. Lindsay decided she needed to stop crying and get on with life the was her brother asked her to, and she knew exactly where to start.

* * *

A/N:I am sad to say that after this one there is only two more chapters of this story….but don't worry there is going to be a sequel. I have it all planned out. Hope you liked it. Reviews are always welcome. 


	6. First Date and Fireworks

A/N: Sorry about the delay but I have been very busy and this chapter took me awhile to right. One more chapter after this one guys, but again there will be a sequel. Hope you like it.

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI: NY or any of the characters (I only own the ones I made up). I also don't own Brad Paisley or "The World".

* * *

**Chapter 6: First Date and Fireworks**

Danny opened the door to the guest house and plopped down on the couch. Never had he imagined that tow four year olds had that much energy. He should have expected as much. Leaning his head back on the couch, Danny closed his eyes for a moment. He opened then to find a newly showered and glowing Lindsay, who stood in the doorway of the living room and hallway. He looked her up and down. She was wearing a pair of denim shorts and a light pink halter top Lindsay looked better than she had in days and Danny wondered what brought it on.

"Hey Montana." Danny greeted her enthusiastically. Lindsay gave him a bright smile and walked over to the couch.

"Hey to you too." Lindsay mocked and kissed his deeply. When the need for air was too great she pulled back. She took a seat on the coffee table across from the couch. Danny had a shocked expression on his face. Lindsay just laughed, "What?" She asked playfully.

"What has gotten into you?" He questioned. "Just last night you were falling to pieces and now…" Danny paused, trying to find the right words to describe the transition.

"Back to my old self." Lindsay finished for him.

Danny nodded, "How?" He was nothing but glad, he was just a bit confused.

Lindsay thought for a moment before she answered. She had expected this reaction from him. "Let's just say that my brother knocked some sense into me. Maybe I'll tell you how someday but not right now. It's my little secret."

Danny smiled and grabbed both her hands in his and brought then to his lips. "I can deal with that." Lindsay leaned in and kissed him again, this time more passionately.

This time it was Danny who pulled away first. "As much as I would like to spend the day making out with you, I only have a day and a half to see the rest on Montana. So what do you want to do?" He asked.

Lindsay, again, thought for a moment and then she remembered something. "Do you know we've never been on an actual date?"

Danny nodded acknowledging the fact, "So what did you have in mind, Montana?"

Lindsay smirked. "Do you know what today is?" She smiled and tried to hold back her laughter as she watched Danny think. She always loved to stump him.

Danny shook his head, "Nothing comes to mind. What do you know that I don't?" Danny asked once again confused.

"And you call yourself a detective. What good detective forgets Independence Day, Danny?" Lindsay informed him with a triumphant smile.

"Kill me now." Danny pleaded playfully while he buried his face in his hands. When he looked up he was met by Lindsay's sparkling brown eyes and smile. He knew she always love to be right especially when it proved him wrong. "Just don't let this get around the lab." He returned he smile and allowed he to continue with her plan.

"Well, I though we could go to dinner at my favorite restaurant of all time and then go watch the best fireworks in all of Montana." Lindsay fully explained her idea to Danny. It would give them some much needed alone time and Lindsay could share some of her most precious secrets with Danny.

Danny nodded in agreement. "Just give me an hour to get a shower and get dressed."

"Okay." Lindsay said kissing him once more before Danny got up and headed towards the hallway. He turned around and looked at Lindsay one more time. "Do you realize that those kids never run out of energy? They're like the energizer bunnies." With that Danny turned and vanished out of sight down the hall leaving Lindsay laughing on the couch.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Danny walked out of the master bathroom dressed in a pair of medium blue denim shorts and a blue pole, to find Lindsay brushing her hair and doing her make-up while singing along with the radio. For a moment Danny just leaned against the door frame taking in the scene before him.

"_To the waiter at the restaurantYou're just another tipTo the guy at the ice cream shopYou're just another dipWhen you can't get reservations'Cause you don't have the cloutOr you didn't get an invitation'Cause somebody left you outThat's alright, that's okWhen you don't feel important honeyAll I've got to say is"_

Her voice was soft and angelic. He could have stood there all day and listen to her sing. She was singing along to "The World" by Brad Paisley, which was one of the many country songs that reminded Danny of Lindsay every time he heard it. Lindsay was in a position that didn't allow her to see Danny come up from behind her and wrap his arms around her waist. To her surprise he started to sing the words out loud.

"_You think you're one of millions but you're one in a million to meWhen you wonder if you matter, baby look into my eyesAnd tell me, can't you see you're everything to meThat's alright, that's okWhen you don't feel important honeyAll I've gotta say is_

_To the worldYou may be just another girlBut to meBaby, you are the world"._

As the song faded out Lindsay turned her head and was met by Danny's lips and she willingly accepted. "So when did you start listening to country music?" She asked teasingly when they pulled away from the kiss. Lindsay knew very well that country music wasn't Danny's style.

"Since you can to New York." Danny answered and kissed her again. This surprised Lindsay but she wasn't going to argue. "I think we should get going because I'm hungry." He said giving a pout, which he knew Lindsay couldn't resist.

Lindsay nodded and kissed the pout right off hi face. "Daddy said we can use the truck. I packed a blanket and a cooler full of soda and stuff like that."

"Okay." Danny grabbed her hand and they made their way to the dinner.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Reeses is that you?" A women's voice filled the almost empty dinner when Danny and Lindsay entered. A gray haired woman, probably in her sixties, came up to the couple and enveloped Lindsay in a hug.

"Yeah it's me." Lindsay replied returning the hug with equal warmth. Lindsay received a questioning look from Danny who was standing by her side. She smiled, taking hold of his hand. "Reese is my middle name." Danny smiled at the nickname and thought back to the first time he had called her Montana. From that moment on he will think of her as his Montana.

"So this is the Danny Messer your sister keeps going on about." Maggie says winking at Lindsay. "I'm Maggie Brooks. I've known Lindsay or Reeses as we like to call her around here, since she was born. I'm her godmother." She introduced herself offering Danny a hand.

Danny willingly accepted. "Yeah, I'm Danny Messer. I work with Lindsay back in New York. And Brad was right; news does travel fast around here." The two women shared a laugh.

"I guess you're going to want to sit at your usual table?" Lindsay nodded and Maggie led the two to a table in the back corner of the diner.

"Usual?" Danny asked, still smiling.

Maggie's expression changed as though she was reminiscing. "Reeses here used to hang out here all the time. I'm just glad I'm her mom's best friend." She winked at Lindsay who returned the gesture.

"Oh so this is where you brought all the guys." Danny joked playfully.

Maggie shook her head and smiled warmly at Danny. "You would think, but actually you're the only guys she has ever brought in her."

Danny looked at Lindsay who was smiling shyly. "Well I'm honored." He reached over and intertwined their fingers.

Maggie took their orders and not long after, brought their food out. Danny and Lindsay discussed different things over dinner including Lindsay's childhood and how the guys back in New York were getting by without them. When they finished eating they headed up to the register where Maggie was finishing with another customer.

When Maggie looked up from counting the money she had just receives and saw the two standing there she shook her head. "It's on the house Reeses." Lindsay was about to argue but Maggie cut her off, "Don't worry about it. You've been through a lot recently. Just promise you'll stop by before you leave."

Lindsay gave in. "I promise." She gave Maggie and hug. "Where's Sam?" Lindsay asked. Sam was Maggie's husband, co-owner of the diner and her godfather.

"Exactly where he was when you left for New York." Maggie answered pointing towards the back of the diner. Lindsay nodded and they said their final good-byes.

Lindsay led Danny out the front of the diner and around the back. They were met by the sight of a man in his sixties behind the hood of a red '69 Ford Mustang. The man's back was to then so he wasn't aware of the two who had just joined him.

"You're still working on the old thing?" Lindsay commented with a large smile plastered to her face.

The man just shook his head but kept his back to them, "Always will. You know very well I'll never give up on this baby. And when I'm gone I'm leaving it to you; fixed or not Reeses." Afterwards he turned around at the sound of Lindsay's laughing.

"Welcome home Darlin'." He walked up and gave her a hug. When they pulled away Lindsay made the introductions.

"Sam this is Danny." Lindsay smiled as the two shook hands.

Sam looked Danny over from head to toe before speaking. "So you're the one Becky Lynn keeps going on about. You must be special; Reeses never brings boys to the dinner."

Danny smiled and put an arm around Lindsay's waist pulling her closer to him. "So I've heard."

Lindsay leaned her head on Danny's shoulder, "We've got to get going if we're going to catch the fireworks." Lindsay laughed at Sam's frown. "Don't worry. Maggie already made me promise to stop by before I leave." Once again Lindsay and Danny exchanged good-byes and promised to be back.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

With the help of Lindsay's directions Danny drove the two to the park within twenty minutes. They parked the car in the exceptionally crowded parking lot and unloaded the cooler and blankets. Lindsay took Danny's hand and led him to a quiet spot away from all the other viewers.

"This is my secret viewing place." Lindsay whispered into the night, "It's the best place to watch them and only I know about it. After years of living here I've been to every spot and this is the best." Danny could see her smile in the moonlight. They laid the blankets out on the grass and settled in. Danny reached into the cooler and pulled out two sodas, handing one to Lindsay. She was positioned in between Danny's open legs and was resting her head against his chest.

After a few moments Danny broke the comfortable silence, "So Montana, why all this, why me?"

This caught Lindsay's attention and she positioned herself so she was looking in Danny's eyes. "I love you Danny, and I wanted to share all this with you…" Danny was about to interrupt and she knew exactly why. She had just said she loved him and they hadn't reached that level in their relationship, but she silenced him with a finger to his lips. "I've never shared any of this with anyone because I have been waiting for that special person. Throughout the past year I have realized that that person is you. I want you to love me for who I am country girl and all…"

Before she could continue she felt Danny's lips on hers. This kiss was unlike any of the others. It was filled with so much love that Lindsay felt as though she could burst. Meanwhile in the background the first fireworks had been sent off. It sent explosions of colors into the dark night sky that just perfected the moment.

Danny was the first to pull away. His hand came up and caresses Lindsay's face as he pushed a strand of hair out of her eyes. "I don't care that you're a country girl and I'm a city boy. I think that just adds to the spark between us. You're smart, funny, a little crazy and can put up with my crap. Those are just a few of the things I have come to love since you came into my life a year ago. Linds, I love you more than anything in the world, you're everything to me." He whispered. Tears were forming in her eyes and they were illuminated by the fireworks display. Danny wiped them away and kissed her again.

* * *

A/N: I hope it was worth the wait!. The last chapter should be up soon. Please review and tell me if you liked it! Ash 


	7. Home

A/N: I have to say it has been great! I want to thank you all for your reviews and insight, it was really appreciated. Here is what you all have been waiting for….the final chapter!

* * *

**Chapter 7: Going Home**

Just two days after the night in the park, Danny and Lindsay were packing her parents truck with their bags. The whole family stood outside the house preparing to say good-byes.

Lindsay walked up to her parents and gave them each a hug. "I'm going to miss you guy, but I promise I'm come back to visit soon." In respond Chris gave her a kiss on the cheek as did Kyle.

"And you can bring him with you." Kyle said motioning towards Danny who was loading the last of the luggage. "I like him and he's good for you. I can tell by the way he looks at you he loves you."

Lindsay hugged her dad and whispered in his ear, "I know Daddy, I know." When she pulled out of the embrace Danny was standing by her side. "Well, I'm going to go say good-bye to Becky Lynn and Brad." With that she walked off towards her sister leaving Danny alone with her parents.

"It was great to meet both of you and I really appreciate you letting me stay." Danny thanked then as he gave Chris a hug and shook hands with Kyle.

"No problem." Kyle said putting a hand on Danny's shoulder. "Now we know she's being well taken care of in New York. We won't worry as much anymore." Chris nodded her agreement.

Danny smiled. "I'd never let anything happen to her." He said to reassure then that Lindsay was safe with him. Danny then walked over to Lindsay, who was talking to the twins.

"You guys are going to be good for mommy and daddy, right?" Lindsay asked and received eager nods from both Josh and Jaime.

Jaime spoke up, "Aunt Lindsay, can you bring Danny with you the next time you come to visit?"

Lindsay looked up at Danny who was smiling proudly and then back down at the twins, "I guess I could if you really want." She earned a cheer from the two kids. Lindsay smiled when Danny bent down and received two high fives.

As Danny was being chatted up by Josh and Jaime, Lindsay gave her sister a hug. "You should come to New York more often with Brad to visit." Lindsay told her sister.

Becky just shook her head. "I could say the same thing for you." The two laughed. Becky looked over at Danny who was now talking to her husband then back at her older sister. "It's good to see you smiling again. I was worried about you when we found out about Matt because I knew it was going to break your heart. I didn't know how you were going to get through it but then Danny comes along. I'll thank God everyday for him." Becky Lynn squeezed Lindsay's hand gently.

"He's really something, isn't he?" Lindsay asked stealing a glance at Danny. Becky nodded in answer even though she knew it was more of a statement than a question.

Danny noticed Lindsay's glance and walked over to her and Becky Lynn. "So what are you two up to?" He asked with a smirk.

Becky gave him a hug and whispered in his ear, "Take care of her."

Danny nodded and took hold of Lindsay's hand, intertwining their fingers. "Don't worry I will." Danny gave Lindsay a peck on the cheek. She just laughed because sometimes she wondered whether her family thought she could get alone on her own. She highly doubted it but she knew they meant well.

After final good-byes were said Chris and Kyle headed back into the house and Becky Lynn helped Brad put the twin in the car. They would follow Lindsay and Danny to the airport so Brad could drive the truck back to the ranch. Lindsay took one more look around her and closed her eyes as they stood alone in the driveway. In that moment she realized that, although she will always love Montana, New York was her home now. Her home was back in the city with Danny and all their friends.

Danny watched her for a moment. She looked so much more peaceful than she had when they had arrived. "You ready to go, Montana?' Danny asked quietly and squeezed her hand.

Lindsay looked at him and whispered back, "Yeah Danny, I'm ready to go home."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_Hope can be found in any situation, no matter how painful and no matter what the loss. You just have to be willing to find it and fight for the joy it can bring. After you find the hope you can find the strength to move on. And when life goes on, you can choose what to make of it._

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The End (at least for this part anyway)

Sequel coming soon….to be titled: Life Goes On.

* * *

A/N: I really hoped you liked this story but don't forget about it. I have a lot in mind for the sequel. And the wait shouldn't be that long because I have already begun to right the first chapter. Ash 


End file.
